Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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