By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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