You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
