just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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