why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
