Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
