so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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