I must be too annoying 4 u.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
