Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My life is pants optional.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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