Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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