The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
