great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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