What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize