yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
