omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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