Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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