Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
it's like heaven, but drunker
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
