But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
