You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
