Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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