piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
