Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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