it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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