I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
