told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
