I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
