I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
