We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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