Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
