this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
