so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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