Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize