He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
