I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
