Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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