I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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