We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
