Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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