And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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