dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
