Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
