What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize