I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
as a side note pls kill me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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