How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
