I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
