dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
