dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
