Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Too much gin, very little bucket
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
