guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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