Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
