Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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