just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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