Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize