Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
