I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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