Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
