I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
