It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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