I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
