I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
