My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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