When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wish i was in the wii world.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
