Me. At least after what I've been through.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
