He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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