My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
