Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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