I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
