oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
