I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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