My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
