good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
