I just cut my nipple shaving
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
