this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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