She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
