I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
