he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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