Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I want to make a zoo with you.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
