there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
